Sometimes I overhear odd things. I’ve been collecting these on Twitter.

• “When the squirrel started crying his ears hurt.”

• “…He looked exactly like me. And in a few days he was picked up by a private jet…”

• First guy: “You’re like Superman flying backwards around the world.”

  Second guy: “You’re like…”

  First guy: “Shotgun!”

• A mother to a whiny toddler: “You’re not being very rainbowy.”

• In a bookstore, an older woman: “I’m looking for Farland.”

  A younger woman, maybe her daughter: “Oh, you have to go by name?”

• In the same bookstore, someone’s opinion of Neil Gaiman: “He’s a new writer… I’m not sure I like his style. It’s very harsh and now.”

• In a different bookstore: “It’s not just a monkey book, it’s also about conservation.”

• Husband (enthusiastically): “Do you like fried okra?”

  Wife (sternly): “No, I do not.”

  Husband (plaintively): “Why?”

• Kid: You wanna buy coffee table books?

  Other Kid: Let’s do it!

  Younger Kid (confused): Coffee table?