Cast of Characters

I’m doing longer stories again, so for context here are some currently active characters:

Bob Scravel

Bob

Bob makes his living writing terrible books he never reads. Literally; he doesn’t even know what’s in them. He’s probably written some good books but no one except Bob has read those. Loves unflavored oatmeal. A perpetual straight man, he is the mayonnaise to everyone else’s sandwich.

Muriel Silverthorn

Muriel

An elf who somehow accidentally became real. In doing so she retroactively caused an entire elf-existence-justifying infrastructure to come into existence, including an entire elf country called “Elflandia.” She feels terribly guilty about this.

Katrina Tourneur

Katrina

Katrina is one of those people whose head falls off if she removes the velvet ribbon around her neck. It’s run in her family ever since the French Revolution. She tries not to make it her entire personality.

Gerald

No one knows what Gerald is. He seems to know things. Also, he likes beets.

Harriet Kray

Harriet

We have not seen Harriet recently but she is currently Bob’s lawyer.

Buck Miller

Buck

We haven’t seen Buck recently either. He used to live in Bob’s basement but he’s sure not there now. Possibly he has come into money.

Abigail Smith

A talented condiment scientist and inventor of a new kind of catsup. Also not seen recently. Was dating Bob for a while, probably just so that they both could say they were dating someone.

Professor Crumleigh

He is from the University.

Steve

Owns a combination candle store/wax museum. He just really likes wax.