This was something I posted on a discussion group ages ago after seeing episode two of "The Space Museum," having not seen the first. People seemed to find it funny at the time, so I added it here.
The story so far: The TARDIS has "skipped a time track" or something, temporarily dumping the crew into their own future. At the end of episode one, they found their motionless bodies on display in glass cases.
"The Dimensions of Time" begins with a short scene of the TARDIS crew standing around looking like they've all been hit over the head. "They're gone!" says Barbara. "And we've arrived!" replies the Doctor. Ah, that explains everything.
The next scene informs us that we're on Zeros, the famous Planet of Eyebrow People. Three Moroks — about half the population of the planet — briefly discuss how bored they are.
Meanwhile, three Wesley Crusher clones are fomenting revolution. They decide they need to track down the four people who've just shown up in the museum that appears to comprise the entire planet.
Elsewhere, Ian steals a gun from a glass case. In a demonstration of just the kind of keen intellectual powers posessed by the second season regulars, he playfully points it at Barbara, Vicki, and the Doctor and then tells the latter worriedly that he "could have blown a hole" in him. The crew argue for a few minutes about what to do. "The fact is the future," says the Doctor. "Yes," replies Ian, "I see what you mean." Somehow, they come to the conclusion that if they leave they'll end up in the cases. There is some consternation over the fact that Ian has lost a button.
Moving on, the four attempt to locate the entrance. The crew argue about which direction to take. Barbara observes that "actually, all the corridors look alike" and the Doctor helpfully points out that "you have to turn right before you can turn left." This seemed to go on for hours, although it was probably only about a minute. It sounded like the cast was improvising.
Around this point I went into the kitchen. While I was away, I heard goofy danger music, and when I got back, the Doctor was lying on the floor with the Wesley Crusher Trio standing over him. The leader suggests to the dorkiest one that he stand guard over the Doctor while the others wander off. When they return, the guard is bound and gagged on the floor. The Doctor is gone. "He was like a whirlwind!" says Dorky Guy. The Crushers leave, and there is a pan to an unexplained Dalek. It babbles something in a high pitched voice, and the Doctor pops out, giggling.
Meanwhile, the rest of the crew has been wandering in circles. (How did these people ever find their way in in the first place?) Ian decides to unravel Barbara's cardigan to mark their trail. In another demonstration of just the kind of keen intellectual powers posessed by the second season regulars, he tries to do this with his teeth. After a moment, Barbara has a flash of inspiration — she can use Ian's penknife! Barbara has a keen tactical mind.
A few minutes later, the Crushers show up and follow the thread. I guess it's not like they have anything better to do.
In another part of the museum, the Doctor comes upon a chair and sits down. He is strapped in by a metal seatbelt, which he doesn't notice until he tries to get up. A couple of doors open up about two feet in front of his face. (I'm sure they weren't there a moment ago.) They reveal a Morok, who sounds like he's going to pitch condominiums at the Doctor (he begins with something like "Welcome to beautiful Zeros!"). Instead, he interrogates the Doctor using a machine that shows thoughts. This is a pity, as the condominium idea might actually have been more interesting.
Miraculously, the rest of the crew finds the entrance. They open it and we see them peering out of the door. The scene is badly overexposed. We hear a crowd muttering somewhere. "They have the TARDIS!" cries Barbara. Who has the TARDIS? Where is it? We never find out.
The Morok asks the Doctor where he comes from. The screen shows stock footage of walruses, which must have been the first thing the director grabbed out of the vault.
Doctor: These are some good friends of mine!
Morok: But you're not an amphibian!
Doctor (Knowingly): Oh no?
Then, for some reason, the screen seems to show someone in a jumpsuit and a cowboy hat. Angered, the Morok decides to make the Doctor into an exhibit.
There were two more episodes of this the following week. God help us all.